The original title of this was ‘A Lively Fisting’

I was feeling all proud after finding time to post yesterday until I pushed “publish” and WordPress bitch-slapped me with a little message o’shame:

Perhaps I’m overthinking it … maybe they just wanted to congratulate me? But that “Wild!” after telling me I’ve updated four times in almost two months seems a tad snarky. It’s the equivalent of when one of my staff members comes in late and before I can stop myself I’ve said to them, “Hey, you’ve only been late 14 times this month! FANTASTIC!”

I do not have a “World’s Best Boss” mug.

I know it’s super stupid to talk about work on your blog. I read Dooce. But this morning I got a rejection letter from what I thought was going to be my dream job (technically it’s my runner-up dream job, since nobody is offering to pay me to eat sandwiches and make out with a freshly-showered Colin Farrell, WHAT THE HELL, WORLD?) and I just don’t really care anymore. I may get fired and become homeless, but bums don’t have to wear pants so SCORE.

Because I’m not homeless yet, I thought I’d share with you how to make a super-awesome spraypainted clothespin mirror that is the perfect piece to display on your wall. Or to use as a bitchin’ rear-view mirror on your shopping cart full of possessions parked under the bridge, if you’re me. This project was featured on Design*Sponge a while back, so click here if you want to read how to make this from someone who actually knows what they’re doing.

Materials

Small round mirror with unfinished edges (I had to drive 80 miles to a Michael’s craft store in a whole other state to get mine, since the closest thing we have to a craft store is Walmart and when I asked if they had unfinished mirrors the guy was all “Ya mean a mirror without the shiny part on the front?”)

A couple packs of clothespins (Dollar store!)

Spraypaint

Ribbon

Hot glue gun

Find something round – I used my spool of ribbon – to place in the center of the mirror.  You’ll be using it to ensure the clothespins are placed in an even circumference (Confession! I took “math for idiots” and totally don’t know if circumference is the right word here. I have to have like five sheets of scratch paper just to figure out how much to tip my server).

Start clipping the clothespins around the item in the center of the mirror. This is mostly to figure out how many you will need to spraypaint. When you’re done doing this, promptly undo all the hard work you just did and take them all off, go outside, and spraypaint away. I had to rotate mine about four times to make sure each side was coated. While I was bent over on the front porch rotating my clothespins (that’s got to be a euphemism for something), I noticed the same truck drive by like six times. Which brings me to my next tip: Don’t wear a miniskirt for this portion of the project.

Once the paint is dry, repeat the first step and clip all the clothespins on around the round object again. Once you’re satisfied with how they look, remove the round object, fire up ye’ old glue gun and glue everything in place. Dab some glue on one side of the clippy-part of the clothespin and then open and shut it a few times to get glue on both sides, and then clamp it in place, holding it closed for a few seconds while the glue sets. Do this for what feels like a million hours until all the clothespins are glued and you are experiencing early symptoms of carpal tunnel. Be sure to loop your ribbon through one of the clothespins before gluing it down so you have something to hang it from. I forgot this step, and it’s a good thing I work out because it took all my strength to pry a clip off of the mirror once I had glued it. Hot glue: As strong as my love for Colin Farrell.

When you’re done with all this, you will have a quirky piece of homemade art to hang in your home and, if you did it right, a lingering contact high from all that spraypaint:

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