Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooood.

I’m suffering from a bit of writer’s block and I blame the long weekend. What IS Labor Day, anyway? I tried looking up the holiday’s origins but saw a bunch of words like “labor movement” and “Syndicalist” so I got out of there right quick and busied myself with the much more important task of finding out what size Christina Hendricks’ boobs are*. Mad Men’s got a lot of mystery going on – characters who have stolen identities and who are pretending to not be gay and who are hiding their bastard love child they conceived with a married asshat – and yet all I can think about when I’m watching it is how it is possible that Joan’s boobs are not causing other planets to crash into Earth with their gravitational pull.

I totally know about science.

ANYWAY while most of my friends spent Labor Day weekend being adults and doing stuff like making home improvements and working in their gardens, I was eyeballs-deep in a weekend of gluttony. Mad Men marathon? Check. Fried foods-based diet? Double check. Pretty much the only “work” I did all weekend was make a peanut butter chocolate pie because we were invited to a last-minute Labor Day barbecue Monday night and we were asked to bring dessert.

Surprisingly, the pie was a pretty resounding success. I looked up no-bake recipes because it has been so hot here that the use of the oven in this house has been outlawed. This is actually great because the local radio station has been playing that Toby Keith “Made in America” song every hour and when I hear him sing about the horror of “foreign cars filled with oil that ain’t ours” all I want to do is bake my head at 400 degrees for about an hour.

Seriously though, this pie was so, so easy to make (obviously, or I wouldn’t have attempted it) and I used a recipe from Martha Stewart but made a couple changes. Namely, adding more chocolate. I’d link to the original recipe but I can’t find it and I’m tired and my computer has randomly powered down twice since I started this post so please just do me a favor and don’t tell Martha if you see her about town.

No-bake peanut butter chocolate pie
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
2 tablespoons sugar
Store-bought pie crust (I used the Oreo one and it changed my life)
Chocolate chips

In a bowl, beat the heavy cream until stiff peaks form. I don’t have a fancy mixer so I used a whisk and if you choose to go this route, make sure there is somebody else in the house you can pawn this fool’s errand off on because HOLY GOD it takes forever. Once stiff peaks start forming, add two tablespoons of sugar.

"Made in America" was totally playing while I made this pie.

In a separate bowl, fold the whipped cream/sugar mixture into the 1/2 cup of peanut butter. Having no clue what “fold” means, I mixed it in gradually with a spoon and nobody died. Once this is all mixed (or folded?) together, pour it into the pie crust and top with the chocolate chips. Freeze for a couple hours. While you’re waiting for it to freeze, go ahead and ice your mixing arm if you plan on using it the next day.

Confession: I have no idea how old these chocolate/peanut butter chips are. They were in the fridge behind a bottle of barbecue sauce.

I kind of wonder if a layer of Nutella spread on top of the pie crust under the peanut butter mixture would make this pie even more awesome. I have no idea what happens to Nutella in the freezer, but once I regain movement in my right arm I will try it out and let you know.

*The closest I came to an exact measurement is Christina’s boobs > yours. I also learned that if you Google this you immediately feel like a creeper. A flat-chested creeper.

2 thoughts on “Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooood.

  1. Kristin

    I recently watched every season of Mad Men and now I’m depressed because I have to wait till the next season airs and then comes out on DVD cause we don’t have cable.

    1. heatherhomefaker Post author

      Speaking of the BEST SHOWS EVER I am so excited to watch Top Model with you. Ever since I heard they were bringing back people from old seasons all I can think about is how much I want to hear more of crazy Jade’s poetry.


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