I’m a sith lord.

My friends and I trick-or-treated until we were like 15. Pretty embarrassing, right? One year, the local newspaper did a story about trick-or-treating and interviewed a couple who, as a social experiment, set out a big cauldron of candy and a note that said, “Please take one.” They had a secret camera set up and recorded the whole evening. In the story, the couple expressed their disappointment at a group of teenagers who discussed the situation at length and decided that since the note didn’t specify one “what,” it could technically mean one “handful.” (They SHOULD have expressed their disappointment that a group of teenagers was lame enough to a) be trick-or-treating, and b) actually discuss that topic at length.) Anyway, that group of hardcore candy rebels was me and my friends.

I remember being so scared when I read that story — for weeks I was convinced the homeowners were going to study the tape and canvass local schools for the perps, culminating in my arrest. (100 Grand theft?)  I was so distraught that I actually sat down and confessed to my parents that the group in that article was me and my friends. And they were all, why is our kid such a nerd?

Honestly, I’m sad that I can’t trick-or-treat anymore. Every year I say I’m going to dress up, but then I wait until the last minute and either don’t dress up at all or fall back on my old standby, Pippi Longstocking. But this year I’ve been looking around online and have found a bunch of awesome options, many of which would be pretty easy to make yourself:

Aw, breast friends

Mario and (Slutty) Peach

Girls Gone Wild

Leg lamp from “A Christmas Story.” Fragilé!


Tobias Fünke and Lindsay Bluth. Best costume in all the land.

Party on.

And after posting that last one, all I can think about is how much I want to be Babe-raham Lincoln. Are you dressing up this year?


4 thoughts on “I’m a sith lord.

  1. SMcMullin

    Steal a kid and take them trick or treating! When they take a whole handful it’s “Ahhhhhh cuuuuuute” not “Call the head of Neighborhood Watch! That girl took three root beer barrels!”

    1. heatherhomefaker Post author

      I want to steal YOUR kids and take them trick or treating. Doug’s “UP” costume was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

      1. SMcMullin

        It was, and it sapped my creativity henceforth and forever. This year he is wearing a Mike Wazowski t-shirt.

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