I had every intention of getting at least some exercise while on my recent work trip, but I wound up having to pack some A/V equipment in my carry on, which meant there was no room for my workout shoes/clothes (I almost never check bags for trips less than a week). Any walking I did in Baltimore was counteracted by the sheer volume of crab cakes I ingested. Actually, most of the walking I did on the trip was only to get to places that sold crab cakes. Why bother with moderation when you can eat NOTHING BUT CRAB CAKES is a good motto to adopt when you find yourself in Maryland.
I had completed level two of Ripped in 30 before I left, so on Wednesday night I cued up level three expecting to totally kill it – I was full of energy and ready to work up a sweat after taking a week off. And I did work up a sweat – DURING THE TWO-MINUTE WARM UP. It only went downhill from there.
Every exercise in each of the three circuits was a complete struggle for me. (I’m starting to suspect that the person leading the video is actually Satan wearing a Jillian Michaels costume, and that hell consists of endless duck walks.) During the cardio portion of the third circuit, I started to hyperventilate from simultaneously fighting back tears and gasping for breath. So instead of pushing through it, I stood there and cried while Jillian and her sidekicks hopped around on one leg like muscular flamingos on amphetamines. At first my crying was due to frustration from feeling so weak, but then it was because I realized that I’m actually dumb enough to cry over a bad workout. Seriously, who does that? DUMB PEOPLE, that’s who.
While I’m thinking of it, here are some other dumb things I’ve cried over:
– When my kindergarten class sang “On Top of Spaghetti,” because I felt bad for the meatball when it rolled off of the plate
– Running over a squirrel
– That episode of Undercover Boss where the Russian 7-11 shelf stocking guy got his own store
– Accidentally cutting my bangs too short
Have you ever cried over something really dumb?