On Wednesdays we wear pink

Since I can’t get away from the 24/7 media coverage of David Petraeus’ dirty laundry, I’ve decided to embrace the fact that it’s kind of funny that behind closed doors, the director of the CIA has basically been living the life of a 12-year-old girl. Therefore, I present:

Things we really need to know about PETRAEUSGATE 2012

  • Are Paula Broadwell’s official biography notes stored in a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper?
  • Did Mr. Petraeus send his confidential memos via interoffice cootie catchers?
  • Was “bang the CIA Director” on Paula’s “jobs” list when she and the general played MASH together on the plane to Afghanistan?

I NEED DETAILS, CNN.

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