I wanna quit the gym!

Was anyone else dumb enough to go to the gym after work last night?

I tend to avoid the post-work rush at all costs, but since my gym doesn’t open until 5:30 a.m. and I had a 45-minute run on the agenda, I didn’t think I’d have enough time to fit it in before work (I take for-ev-er to get ready in the morning). With the addition of the new year crowd, the gym was predictably crazy – there were only a few treadmills open when I rolled up around 5:15. About halfway through my run, an older lady got on the machine next to me and shit got really, really weird.

She started walking on the slowest setting, and then I almost fell off my treadmill when something veered into the space in front of my shins. That something turned out to be her foot. I turned my head to see what the hell her foot was doing in my space, and was greeted with the sight of a woman old enough to be my grandmother holding a deep squat, with one leg on the belt and the other jutting out over my machine.  My first reaction was to be like, “Maybe go do your sit spins on solid ground, BRIAN BOITANO,” but then I decided the entertainment value might be worth putting up with rogue limbs in my running space. I was right – this was just the beginning of a series of regal poses she’d hold while riding the belt to the back of the machine. She almost impaled a guy who walked behind her right as she moved into a deep arabesque, and Dave, who was on a bike directly behind us, assured me the back view of her downward dog was really special. One of her moves was an exact replica of that scene in Elf where he rides the escalator for the first time:


The only time I’ve heard of treadmill yoga (Troga!) was as a joke on Modern Family, and I can’t tell you how delighted I am to find out that it’s a real thing.

ANYWAY. The Couch to 10k plan I’m following called for a five-minute warmup of walking, then 7 rounds of 3 minutes running/2 minutes walking, and then a five-minute walk for a cool down. I mentioned yesterday that I was skeptical of all that walking, but at about my sixth round I found myself really grateful for those breaks.


Note: Troga lady looked over at me from her warrior pose like I was crazy for taking this picture.

The mileage is pretty unimpressive thanks to all the walking, but I can see why the program calls for a walk/run combo to start out – I never really felt like I was going to die (which is normally standard when I run), and my muscles aren’t totally screaming today. I had planned to do my next run Friday morning before work since it’s only 30 minutes, but I kind of want to go after work and see if I can catch some more Troga action.


14 thoughts on “I wanna quit the gym!

  1. Audrey Humaciu

    Sometimes I feel I am missing out by refusing to join a gym, I am the only crazy lady I can make fun of at my home gym. Ha ha.

    I have known quite a few people try the Cto5K plan and love it. I just hate running so I just don’t see it happening for me.

    1. heatherhomefaker Post author

      Ha, I HATE the gym. If I had a treadmill at home, I’d never set foot in one ever again.

      I’m still new to the running thing, so I might wind up hating it too … if that happens, I plan on going back to letting Jillian Michaels abuse me from the comfort of my living room.

  2. Lori

    So funny…wish I had been there to see that! Keep with the program….you will appreciate the run/walk program whilst running 13.1 miles as well! I have a Half Marathon picked out for us….save July 20th!

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  4. Sarah C

    I’ve never understood some of the weird stuff people do in treadmills, let alone in PUBLIC on a treadmill. I love the ones who try to get into a fight with the air – fists flying everywhere. Why can’t people just walk and/or run, like they are supposed to? Glad you didn’t fall … and got a good story out of it 😉

      1. Sarah C

        Oh, my gosh, this gym I went to years ago, I always managed to get stuck next to this older man who I honestly thought was going to die every time he tried to run. Wheezing, coughing, holding on for dear life … that’s usually your signal that it’s time to walk instead of trying to run…

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