Fake tan fail

Yesterday it was finally warm enough to wear a skirt without tights, so I broke out my fake tan lotion after my shower … only to find that the bottle was empty. I rooted around in my beauty supply drawer and found a couple of Comodynes self-tanning towelettes I received in a Birchbox and never tried, so I decided to use one of those instead of my usual lotion.

Should you ever find yourself in possession of Comodynes self-tanning towelettes, I suggest you throw them away immediately or give them to somebody you hate.

After unknowingly applying Satan’s self-tanner, I went off to work, met with people, went to appointments, and then got in my car to drive home. Which is when I noticed huge, white streaks running up both shins.

04.02.13 Fake tan fail

This picture really doesn’t do it justice. In real life the white streaks are so vivid that I look like an Oompa Loompa-colored candy cane. I’ve never used a tanning towelette before, but I feel like there’s no way I forgot to wipe huge portions of my shins when I was applying this horrible stuff. I actually have finger marks on my thighs, which is kind of mysterious as applied it using a TOWEL and not my FINGERS.

I was actually glad when I woke up to cold, dreary weather this morning, since I’ll be wearing pants until this stuff wears off.

7 thoughts on “Fake tan fail

  1. Closet Strategy

    Thanks for the tip! The first time I tried one of those Jergen’s “tan-enhancing lotions” (not even the full-on self-tanner strength of product), I noticed stains on my white tee shirt a couple of days later. That turned me off self-tanners forever. I was just starting to debate whether technology had improved over the past several years… now I know. I won’t waste my effort.

  2. Emily West (@sparklemeetspop)

    So here’s my newfound theory: there’s no such thing as a good fake tan. Case in point? Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. One white girl has bank, the other white girl has white chairs. Apparently white girl with bank can’t afford quality tanner because it rubs off on girl’s white chairs … more than once. Perhaps skin grafting is the next best choice?

    1. heatherhomefaker Post author

      You’re probably right … I’ve considered spray tans before, but then I remember that episode of Friends where Ross goes to the tanning booth and I decide against it…

  3. Pingback: High five for friday | heatherhomefaker

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