One of the stores across the street from my office recently installed speakers outside their building, and have decided to start blasting music from them every hour, on the hour. Right now it’s playing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” which is only mildly irritating compared to yesterday at 10, when the dulcet tones of “It’s a Small World” wafted through the open windows and into my ear during a call with a Very Important Customer. Which led to me assuring this Very Important Customer that I was not, in fact, taking his call from a boat surrounded by a culturally diverse colony (gaggle? pride?) of singing robots.
Other recent “improvements” to this store include a 7-foot tall, animatronic Mickey Mouse that sits out on the sidewalk during business hours. Which would be weird enough, only I guess the owner didn’t want to shell out the dough for a real, Disney-approved animatronic Mickey Mouse, so it’s really an animatronic Mickey-Ish Mouse-Like Creature, with creepy Mona Lisa eyes that follow you up the street as you walk by.
I mean, Mickey did not ever look like this, right?? I did a bit of Googling and not once did I see an old-timey Mickey that remotely resembled this thing. Also, I think the owner finally realized it was freaking out the children, so he came up with a crack plan to make the thing less creepy: It now holds a sign that says, “Touch Me.”
I almost felt bad taking a picture of a dumb animatronic mouse that some poor business owner feels is classing up the historic downtown district. And then the Star Wars theme song started to play. Game on, Mickey.