Ahh, Home Crap Home!

First House Key

That’s right, we closed on the house! Our broker dropped the keys off at my office yesterday afternoon, and here is where I talk about how my coworkers are the absolute best, because instead of being like SHUT UP ABOUT THIS DUMB HOUSE ALREADY, they were like LET’S SHUT THE PHONES OFF AND TAKE A TOUR!

So we did.

And as I walked them through the house, noting everything we need to do before we even start to move in, my excitement started to turn into panic.

“Yeah, the gross, stained carpets are getting ripped out immediately … and we obviously need to wash and paint the walls … and then install new flooring … and I guess we should get a refrigerator and put a shower head in the master bath and maybe do something about the tree branch growing into the chimney and OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THOSE LIVE WIRES.”


Luckily, Dave is a pretty pragmatic guy, and he’s been working on a master list of crap we need to get done, with everything listed in order of importance. And you know what, it actually has helped ease some of my anxiety. Like, why even worry about having a functional garage door opener when there is a giant hole in the kitchen where the dishwasher used to be? Whee!

We took the camera over to the house last night, and I hope to have a photo tour ready to post here tomorrow, as well as our monster list of Shit We Need to Do. I’m really excited to blog about our projects, which I estimate will keep us busy for, oh, just about the rest of our lives. Even then, we probably won’t be done. I assume our neighbors will find us lying in the living room with our shriveled hands clutching paint rollers, the sound of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” drifting eerily through the broken screen door, across the crunchy, dead front lawn, and out onto the street.

08.01.13 Doormat

Note to self: Add “replace welcome mat” to the list.

All bitching aside, I’m really excited to get to work and turn this into a home we love. It may need a little TLC, but it’s ours.

RELATED: Who wants to come to a painting party next weekend? I’ll give you beer.


12 thoughts on “Ahh, Home Crap Home!

  1. Lori

    Yeah…that welcome mat isn’t too welcoming! Maybe I’ll bring one up with me. So, are we painting , or ripping out floors?

    1. heatherhomefaker Post author

      Ripping up floors … so that we can paint after that and not worry about drips. And get the awful smell out of the house. You and I might be scrubbing the walls while the men rip out floors, though 🙂

  2. Pingback: Twenty Thirteen | heatherhomefaker

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