I Wanna Quit the Gym!

I don’t want to jinx myself, but I think my 2014 is off to an auspicious start – not only did our mortgage lender send us a refund check for collecting too much in our escrow account, I spent the entire first day of the year in my pajamas.

Speaking of me being the laziest person alive, I’m not big on New Years resolutions — in fact, I think last year’s half marathon goal was the first one I ever made. Since I managed to actually do it I kind of don’t ever want to make another one so I can keep my 100% track record. Speaking of which, I wish “getting in shape” wasn’t such a popular resolution for people. There aren’t very many gyms in my town, so for the next six weeks every single treadmill will look like this:


Actually, this is probably better than I will look tonight. I’ve run exactly three times in the last 30 days, so I’ll be lucky not to be on all fours at the end of three miles.

My coworkers make fun of me because in order to secure a treadmill after work, I lug all my gear into the office, change in the freezing bathroom, and sprint to my car as soon as the clock strikes five. It works about half of the time, and the other half I either halfheartedly lift some weights until a machine opens up or I stalk out to my car, drive home, pop in a Jillian Michaels DVD and then decide I don’t feel like doing anything and drink a beer instead. To break that cycle until the New Years crowd dies down at the gym and/or it’s light enough to run outside after work, I’m thinking of doing this Jillian Michaels challenge. I’m not sure if I want to compete for the $150 prize on account of STRANGERS SEEING ME IN MY BRA, but I may post my before and after measurements. Provided they’re not too mortifying.

And because I can’t talk about the new year without thinking of Monica and Ross’s routine, I’ll leave you with this:

Happy first workday of the new year!


3 thoughts on “I Wanna Quit the Gym!

  1. Abigail

    Ooo, maybe I’ll do this challenge too. I definitely didn’t keep up with my workouts in November and December (because of work schedule and party schedule) and now I’m supposed to run a half in 2.5 weeks (HA HA HA) so I’ll be spending a lot of time on long runs, but also I really have only been running and not doing anything else at all since the summer SO I should get my act together. I even have a fancy measurements measuring tape!

    1. heatherhomefaker Post author

      YES, do it! I was on the fence until I got to the printable calendar. I cannot resist the opportunity to track shit on calendars. Related: I would probably die if I tried to run more than a 10k at this point, so I’m impressed that you’re running a half this month.


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