Monthly Archives: February 2014

What Kind of a Name is ‘Stove’ Anyway?

It’s been a good two weeks since our last major home expense, so naturally our stove kicked the bucket last night. I’ll spare you the details, mostly because I’m too lazy to type them, but it started last night with me making shrimp scampi for dinner and ended with us eating deli sandwiches from the grocery store. It’s still unclear whether the stove is under warranty – we are hoping it is, since we haven’t even had the damn thing three years yet. However, I feel pretty confident that the universe would not miss this opportunity to mess with us, so I spent a while last night pricing out ranges just in case. Turns out that after repairing our bathroom plumbing, purchasing a door for our wood stove, and fixing a broken water main all in the last month, this is what we can afford:


Stainless steel, bitches!

We should find out today if the stove is still under warranty, but even if it is we’ll likely be stoveless for a few days at least. I’m considering getting a cast iron skillet for the wood stove and pretending to be pioneers (minus the cholera and dysentery and stuff).


Confession: 100% of my pioneer knowledge comes from playing Oregon Trail.

Just kidding, we’ll probably wind up eating Taco Bell for every meal. And then we’ll develop heart disease and rack up huge medical bills and the bank will repossess our house and we’ll live on the street for a while and then die. ALL BECAUSE OF THE STOVE. (Tangent sponsored by Anxiety™)

Thankfully, the Olympics are giving me something to live for. Especially the Costas eye drama. My friend Abigail sent me this link this morning about how NBC called in Matt Lauer for backup and it cheered me right up. It contains gems like, “… Costas’ eyes appear to be going downhill faster than Sage Kotsenburg,” so it’s definitely in your best interest to read it.

Anybody got good stove recommendations?

Thoughts I’ve Had While Watching the Olympics

– If you can do it while wearing a three piece suit, it’s not a sport (I’m looking at you, ICE DANCING).

– Speaking of ice dancing, stop trying to make “twizzle” happen. It’s not going to happen. (My friend Sarah and I made up an ice dancing drinking game: Dial 9-1-1- and proceed to take a shot every time you hear the word “twizzle.” See if you’re still alive by the time the medics show up.)

– I miss Johnny Weir. Frankly, Jason Brown is the only male skater who has really brought the fab in the costume department so far. In future events, there better be fewer black pantsuits and more Leprechaun Pirate Bullfighters:

– ET airs before primetime Olympics coverage, and I’ve suffered through the end of it several times now. Groundbreaking information I’ve learned so far:  Alec Baldwin’s 18-year-old daughter likes Instagram, one of the Backstreet Boys is getting married, and why Shakira named her new album “Shakira” (spoiler alert: IT’S BECAUSE HER NAME IS SHAKIRA). I have never wanted a DVR more than I do right now.

– Bode Miller is still hot.

I had planned to do some (drunk) live-blogging of the Olympics over the weekend, but obviously that didn’t happen so I’m shooting for this weekend instead. You better hope your pinkeye has cleared up by Saturday, Bob.

High Five for Friday

1. My nephew Theodore finally decided to make an appearance early Thursday morning, two weeks past his due date. I know I’m biased, but I think he’s pretty damn cute:

Josh has been practicing big brother duties with a Cabbage Patch doll, which melted even my shriveled, blackened ovaries.

Josh meeting his little brother. For the last few weeks he’s been practicing for the arrival of the baby with a Cabbage Patch doll.

This morning I was thinking about how much fun it is to be the cool aunt and have none of the responsibility of being a parent. And then I realized that when Theo is 16, I’ll be 46. FORTY-SIX. Apparently instead of “Cool Aunt Heather” I’ll be “That relative who makes us massage her bunions while she eats Easy Cheese from the can and talks about menopause.”



What my evenings will look like for the next two weeks.

Last night I Instagrammed a photo making fun of Bob Costas’ grievous eye injury, and was shocked when I saw that NBC Olympics liked it. This morning I saw that they unliked it. I like to think it was because Costas found out and pitched a squinty-eyed fit.

3. Cauliflower crust pizza.

Cauliflower Crust Pizza

We hadn’t had this in a while, so whipped some up on Wednesday night. IT IS SO GOOD. I use this recipe. Pro tips: Double the garlic, grease the baking sheet/pizza stone reaaaaally well, and let the crust get nice and brown before adding your toppings. (Our toppings included a little cheese, Newman’s Own Sockarooni sauce, veggies, and ground beef leftover from when we made sliders a few days ago.)

4. After seven months(!), I finally got my hair cut yesterday.


I’m trying to grow it out long again, so it wasn’t anything drastic – I just got my layers freshened up, bangs trimmed, and the dead ends chopped off. Even though I absolutely love getting my hair done, I always put it off for ages until it looks like this and I can’t stand it anymore. Don’t be like me.

5. For the first time in a while, we have nothing scheduled for this weekend. The possibilities are endless — I can’t decide if I want to get started on refinishing the dresser sitting in the garage, start the alcove bar project with Dave, or just sit around in my pajamas waiting for our local Olympics coverage to start. SO MANY CHOICES.

 photo H54Fbutton-1_zpsa7aaa665.png

What to Wear on Valentine’s Day

So, confession: I kind of love Valentine’s Day. Not in the, “I’ll pout if my boyfriend doesn’t buy me a 10-lb. box of See’s and a diamond necklace” sort of way, but more of an, “I want to send valentines to all my friends and bake heart-shaped cookies and package them up in treat boxes” kind of way.

When it comes to getting dressed on Valentine’s Day, I’m totally drawn to over-the-top, super-cutesy stuff like these and these … which is acceptable when you’re 12, but harder to pull off in your late twenties. Also, Dave would mock me until the end of time if I bought those shoes.

I’ve spent the last couple of evenings looking for Valentines-wear that is festive enough to satisfy my inner 12-year-old, but subtle enough that it can be worn the other 364 days of the year as well. Here are a few of the things I found:


One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine

Our Valentine’s day plans are super low-key (dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant followed by a hockey game), so I decided to go the casual route and ordered the J. Crew Factory t-shirt (# 3). I’ll probably wind up wearing it with skinny jeans, heels, and my trusty red H&M cardigan, but I also think it would be cute tucked into a pencil skirt for more casual days at work.

Do you get into Valentine’s Day, or are you one of the many people who are annoyed by dorks like me who love it?

Things I’ve Bought Recently

I’m experiencing some serious writer’s block this week. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been spending my evenings numbing my mind with Netflix marathons of “The Following” instead of forcing myself to sit down and write. Which reminds me: You should be watching “The Following” if you’re not already. It’s really creepy, and I would not recommend watching it right before bed if you’re the type of person who assumes every faint creak is the sound of someone coming down the hall to murder you.

Anyway, if there is one thing I can always talk about, it’s shopping, so instead of subjecting you to my crappy writing I’m going to tell you about a few things I’ve bought recently.

Pink Boyfriend PantVictoria’s Secret PINK Boyfriend Pant

I love me some good lounge wear, and I’ve been looking for new around-the-house pants ever since I split the ass of my beloved Old Navy flannel pants wide open a few weeks ago. You’d think that would have inspired me to avoid the cheese dip on Super Bowl Sunday, but you’d be wrong. Anyway, these pants are super comfy and LONG, which is excellent because nothing is dorkier than too-short pajama pants. They’re super slouchy and loose-fitting, which I suppose is due to the “boyfriend” aspect of the pants, although I think it’s pretty presumptive of Victoria to assume that women are all delicate waifs compared to their boyfriends. Tip: Wait for them to go on sale, since they’re $44 full-price.

Banana hanger with fruit bowl

Banana hanger with fruit bowl

Every Sunday we buy a ton of produce for the week, and then it spends the week rolling around all over the counter on account of our kitchen is small and we don’t have space for a fruit bowl. Or, we didn’t think we did until we discovered this genius contraption. Target is sold out of the exact model we got, but this one is close. (Dave technically bought this, but I was there so I’m counting it.)

Combat Boots

Tanner Lace-Up Boot

I’ve been wanting a pair of combat boots forever, but I typically don’t like to drop a ton of money on trendy stuff. Enter: these boots from Payless. I picked them up during a recent buy-one-get-one-half-off sale, but I’m not sure I’m going to keep them. I liked how they looked in the mirror at the store, but when I put them on at home they made my legs look mega-stumpy. Maybe they will let me exchange them for one of their magic leg-elongating mirrors?

L'Oreal Youth Code

L’Oreal Youth Code Texture Perfector

My skin is the worst. It gets super dry in the winter, but it breaks out whenever I use any kind of moisturizer. Plus, I turn 30 this year and think it’s time I get into the habit of taking better care of my skin. I heard good things about L’Oreal’s Youth Code line, and picked up the Texture Perfector cream a while back. It’s super thick, and I use a very tiny amount every morning and night. So far, it hasn’t caused me to break out, and my skin is noticeably softer. Bonus: The smell is fantastic, and the packaging is pretty.