My brain is still trying to figure out where the weekend went, so instead of trying to write something that doesn’t suck, I’m just going to show you pictures from our weekend in Southern Oregon.
Of course I’m going to lead with a picture in which we’re acting like total dumbasses.
This majestic statue graces the entrance to the Seven Feathers Casino in Canyonville, and obviously we had to re-enact it for a picture. I’d like to be able to blame this idea on booze, but the unfortunate truth is that we are just as goobery sober as we are when we’re drinking.
The casino has a pretty nice hotel attached to it, which of course was booked solid the night we were there. In fact, the only hotel with vacancies was the “Leisure Inn,” which was … exactly what you’d expect for $59.95/night. They did have some pretty fancy monogrammed towels, though:
I can’t BELIEVE I wasted money at Pottery Barn when a Sharpie clearly looks just as good.
There were cool leopard print chairs in the lobby though, which you can sort of see through the window in this shot of me waiting for the free shuttle to the casino:
Obviously this was taken pre-gambling, on account of I’m still smiling and you can’t smell the cigarette smoke on my clothes through your computer screen. When it comes to gambling I don’t like anything that requires actual skill, so I pretty much just sit at the slots and try not to spill my drink. I was doing pretty well on the Willy Wonka machine — at one point I got a bonus spin for a chance to win $5,000, which was cool, but I didn’t win it, which was not cool.
The snozberries taste like cigarette smoke and tears!
I blew through my self-imposed $30 limit in about 15 minutes and spent the rest of the afternoon drinking in the bar with Dave while waiting for our comedy show to start. We thought up some really good ideas, including the “Catsino,” a cat-friendly casino for old people. If this seems like a dumb idea to you, go drink three beers and then think about it again.
We had a lot of fun, only now my brain feels like mush. For example: St. Patrick’s Day is one of my favorite days ever, and I actually forgot about it until I saw the green Google logo this morning.
Unfortunately, the thought of drinking and/or doing anything other than lying on the couch sounds pretty unappetizing. I think this year we’re going to have to settle for “The Boondock Saints” and frozen shepherd’s pie.
What are your St. Patrick’s Day plans?