Why I’m a Little Dumber Than I Was Yesterday

Dave bought us a flat screen TV and Roku for the bedroom with his tax return last month, and it is simultaneously the best and worst thing that has ever happened. Our evening routine has always involved watching a little TV before bed, but back when we just had a regular old TV we were forced to watch DVDs of things we already owned. But now, a virtual Bacchanalia of shitty reality TV has opened up before us and we are powerless before it.

Last night, for example, we got sucked into Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas, which basically involves 10 human turds living in a mansion and “working on their marriages” on national TV. Oh, and they are all former stars of Bridezillas.

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Just kidding, you should totally be judging me right now.

We’ve only seen the first episode, and already I hope the series finale ends with the ground opening up and and swallowing these morons. (I’m looking at YOU, San Adreas fault.) And yet I totally want to keep watching. I can’t decide who I like the least, but here are the frontrunners after the first episode:

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These living examples of why half of U.S. marriages end in divorce almost left the show because they were assigned the smallest room in the mansion. He would, and I quote, “rather be homeless” than sleep in a measly 16×16 luxury suite in a Los Angeles mansion. Here, I’m pretty sure he’s counting the number of times he’s had the syph.

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Their faces say more than any caption ever could.

I hate these people almost as much as I hate myself for wanting to watch them on TV.

In other news, Dave turns 30 today, so I wanted to take a moment to publicly wish him happy birthday. And remind him that I’ll still be in my 20s for four more months.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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4 thoughts on “Why I’m a Little Dumber Than I Was Yesterday

  1. Lori

    Ok, so whilst I find it abhorrent that you are watching this show, in bed, no less, your comments made me guffaw loudly in front of a visiting student. Thank you for that! And also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE! 30 years old…..dang.

    Reply
  2. SMcMullin

    Happy Birthday Dave! Welcome to the age where you realize all the millionaire NFL players are younger than you and those your age or older are getting ready to retire with more money than you will ever make. It’s a fun time.

    Reply

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