Monthly Archives: March 2014

High Five for Friday

Our forecast shows highs in the 70s for this weekend and I just saw the obnoxious guy across the street with a giant “Jane Fonda: Traitor Bitch” sticker on his truck get a parking ticket, so it’s already shaping up to be a pretty good Friday. Here are five highs from the last week:

1. My crazy pants!

Crazy PantsI kind of forgot I had these, and rediscovered them yesterday when I was digging around trying to locate my missing denim jacket. I get a lot of “Wow, those are …. interesting” comments when I wear these around town, which might sting a little more if the unofficial uniform of our town wasn’t dirty overalls and boots caked in cow shit.

2. The strawberry shortcake I made for Dave’s birthday came out pretty great:

Shortcake

I used this recipe, and to make the vanilla sugar I just added one teaspoon of vanilla per cup of sugar and blended it really well with a wire whisk. It may not be authentic, but it was easier than flying to Europe, which Google told me was the only place you can find vanilla sugar in stores.

3. I finally joined the rest of the world and started using Spotify. I love it so much, even though it makes me do the white man’s overbite at my desk all day.

I’ve been listening to Birdy’s cover of Bon Iver’s “Skinny Love” over and over for the last couple of days, and I can’t get over how great it is.

4. We’re taking a little trip to a casino in Southern Oregon for Dave’s birthday this weekend, and I have a really good feeling that I’m going to win millions even though I limit myself to $40 and only play the quarter machines.

5. Milky Way Midnights!

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Dark chocolate. Caramel. Vanilla nougat. Adult onset diabetes.

I LOVE these candy bars, and Dave bought me a couple earlier this week because he is the best ever and also because I’ve been a stressed-out, whiny wreck lately and he is probably hoping the caramel/nougat combo will glue my jaws shut. I brought one to work today for an after-lunch snack, only I totally want to eat it right now. It’s acceptable to slam-nom a candy bar before 10 a.m., right? Don’t answer that; I’m doing it anyway.

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My New Art Obsession: Ashley Woodson Bailey

We moved into the new house in August, and we have yet to purchase much in the way of wall art. I painted a big mirror and hung it above the couch in the living room, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I just can’t seem to find much that I really love. Plus, my art knowledge is pretty much limited to one class in college, and all I remember from that is the word “chiaroscuro” and trying to make friends with the girl who sat next to me because her brother was in a band that I liked.

Note: That didn’t pan out. Probably because I wore the band T-shirt to every class and creepily arranged my notebook so the band sticker was showing at all times.

Garth

It was not unlike this.

ANYWAY, ART. Yesterday I stumbled across a post on Design*Sponge highlighting floral photographer Ashley Woodson Bailey, and I was like YES THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. Here are a couple of my favorites, but it was really hard to narrow it down because I basically want every single one of them. (You can see them all on her new site):

Aren’t these so cool? I love the scale and the colors and the fact even though they’re flowers, they’re not necessarily girly. Which will be my main argument tonight when I try to convince Dave that we should take out a loan and buy them all right this second.

Do you have any favorite artists? I’d love some more ideas as we continue to figure out what to put on our walls.

Why I’m a Little Dumber Than I Was Yesterday

Dave bought us a flat screen TV and Roku for the bedroom with his tax return last month, and it is simultaneously the best and worst thing that has ever happened. Our evening routine has always involved watching a little TV before bed, but back when we just had a regular old TV we were forced to watch DVDs of things we already owned. But now, a virtual Bacchanalia of shitty reality TV has opened up before us and we are powerless before it.

Last night, for example, we got sucked into Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas, which basically involves 10 human turds living in a mansion and “working on their marriages” on national TV. Oh, and they are all former stars of Bridezillas.

Juno-please-dont-judge-me

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Just kidding, you should totally be judging me right now.

We’ve only seen the first episode, and already I hope the series finale ends with the ground opening up and and swallowing these morons. (I’m looking at YOU, San Adreas fault.) And yet I totally want to keep watching. I can’t decide who I like the least, but here are the frontrunners after the first episode:

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These living examples of why half of U.S. marriages end in divorce almost left the show because they were assigned the smallest room in the mansion. He would, and I quote, “rather be homeless” than sleep in a measly 16×16 luxury suite in a Los Angeles mansion. Here, I’m pretty sure he’s counting the number of times he’s had the syph.

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Their faces say more than any caption ever could.

I hate these people almost as much as I hate myself for wanting to watch them on TV.

In other news, Dave turns 30 today, so I wanted to take a moment to publicly wish him happy birthday. And remind him that I’ll still be in my 20s for four more months.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Good Things

Sorry for the recent radio silence over here … last week was pretty crappy, but instead of dwelling on that I’m going to tell you about a few good things that happened in between all of the crap. Look at me, being all happy and upbeat! Glitter and kittens and ponies for everyone!

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My brain on optimism.

Seriously though, I have been trying to be more positive lately so here are some good moments from my Very Crappy Week:

1. I ran six miles on Saturday, which is the longest I’ve run since the half marathon. I suffered through some pretty gnarly IT band pain when training for the half last year, so I took a little break from long runs. Since January I have been re-building my mileage (very) slowly and making sure to strength train at least twice per week. I think it’s making a difference – I had zero knee pain and felt awesome. I plan to run a 10-mile race mid-April, so I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll stay pain-free until then!

2. I did yoga for the first time in forever. It felt amazing, but looked a lot like this:

3. I got on iTunes Saturday morning to add a few songs to my running playlist and realized I apparently loaded a $25 gift card a while back and never used it. I then proceeded to buy more Katy Perry songs than I care to admit, but in my defense, it was for running and not my “impress my hipster friends” playlist.

 4. Tomorrow is Dave’s birthday, and I am making him this cake. I don’t know what I’m more excited about — using my new KitchenAid mixer or stuffing my face with globs of fresh whipped cream.

Aaand that’s enough optimism for one day.  I hope your Tuesday is filled with rainbows and kittens and glitter and/or globs of fresh whipped cream.

My Pinterest Was Hacked (No, I’m Not Suddenly Obsessed With Skin Care Ideas)

This morning I was lying in bed doing my usual iPhone procrastinating when I saw on Facebook that I had allegedly been up all night pinning skin care and landscaping tips. Which is hilarious because everyone knows I don’t pin anything that’s not edible and covered in at least two types of cheese. I opened my Pinterest app and sure enough, it warned me that it looked like my account had been hacked. (I kind of wonder if somebody I know did this as a not-so-subtle hint, since I wash my face with cheap drugstore soap and we still haven’t filled in the hole in our lawn from this incident. Also, they changed my location to Paris.  I WISH, PINTEREST HACKER.)

Anyway, I changed my password and deleted the weird boards, but I can’t figure out what somebody could gain from hacking a Pinterest account. Because I’m picturing this:

The sad thing is that a bunch of people re-pinned the hacker pins and started following me last night, so I predict that there will be many disappointed landscaping and face wash enthusiasts once my “four cheese mac and cheese with a side of cheese bread” recipes start flooding their feed. Sorry, guys.

Rihanna is right. I’m not sorry. And now I’m craving melted cheese. Hackers 1, Heather 0.

Really Lazy Sunday

After feeling super lazy and sluggish last week (I blame the rain, and also the very essence of my being), I woke up on Sunday full of energy and ready to Get! Shit! Done!

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It was like this, except without the Flowbie haircut.

After going grocery shopping and getting some work done, I made the mistake of turning on Breaking Bad and then proceeded to watch 13 EPISODES. So let’s see … that’s one, two, three, four, NINE hours of TV in one day. I could almost feel my muscles atrophy as I sat there, yet I COULD NOT STOP WATCHING.

Note: If you have not seen Breaking Bad and plan to watch it, you should skip the next paragraph.

Prior to yesterday, I had only seen the first season. I was bragging to Dave about how I  successfully avoided spoilers last year when everyone was talking about the finale, and then he was all, “But you know that he dies, right?”

On a happier note, I ordered this sweater from LOFT during their Presidents’ Day sale, and it is awesome (and also currently 40% off!):

Sweater

That is the cat’s stuffed dog on the floor behind me, not a dead rat.

I also ordered this dress, but thanks to my dumb short waist it will need some alterations before I post a picture.

How was your weekend?