It’s Been Quiet Around Here


Oh hey, welcome to my view for the last four days: the couch, a furry blanket, and lots of tea. Dave’s been sick with a nasty cold for the last week, and on Saturday I came down with it too. And, OK. Normally I consider myself pretty tough in the face of sickness and pain; my surgeon even commented on it when I was about to be wheeled in to have my appendix removed last summer. Him: On a level of 1-10, what’s your current pain level? Me: 3, but we could make that a 2 if you slip me a Milky Way Midnight after surgery. Him: …

Anyway, this cold. Actually, I’m not sure it’s even a cold. It started out like the flu: dizziness, stomach ache, a ridiculous fever that made me hallucinate Ryan Lochte sitting on my hearth at one point. I knew it was time to take some meds when I started wondering if maybe Ryan is actually a really smart dude playing a big performance art joke on the U.S. with his mind-numbing stupidity, like the time Joaquin Phoenix tried to convince us he was a homeless rapper.


Source Clearly the face of a closeted genius trying to pull one over on the country.

After Lochte came the cold symptoms: sore throat, pounding headache, mucus all the time, everywhere. And I was like huh, maybe this is just a really bad cold after all. And then the fever came back, and by this point Dave and I hadn’t showered or moved off the couch in like three days and basically resembled vagrants you’d see getting cuffed on COPS, only smellier and with dirtier hair. By Tuesday I thought I was over the worst of it: my throat felt better, my fever was gone, and I made it through a full day of work. And then yesterday I woke up, tripped over the cat on the way to the kitchen, and realized when I tried to swear at him that I had no voice.

Fortunately, I was able to work from home Wednesday and let my voice rest a bit. I’m currently drinking a lot of tea and hoping my ability to speak comes back quickly, since a big part of my job involves, you know, talking to people. Also because it is EXCRUCIATING to not be able to impress Dave with my constant witticisms. (Note: I’m not sure “excruciating” is the word he would use for this new development.)

Do you have any home remedies for a lost voice besides boatloads of tea? It’s getting way too quiet around here …

3 thoughts on “It’s Been Quiet Around Here

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