Category Archives: Off topic

We Are Two People in the Pribe of Libe

Dave has been super sick since Sunday, and yesterday I woke up with a sore throat, swollen glands, and just a general feeling of awfulness. I decided to stay home, and spent the day Netflixing SVU and feeling guilty over staying home. I will never not feel guilty about using sick time. I could be, like, stricken with the ebola virus and bleeding out my eyeballs and still feel bad for not at least working half a day.

Even though I felt like crap, I was super hungry all day. The highlight of the afternoon was finding a bag of sweet maui onion kettle chips in the pantry that I had forgotten about. You guys, these chips are so good. I could not physically get them down my gullet fast enough.

Honey Boo Boo Cheese BallsAnyway, about three episodes into my SVU marathon and after taking some cough medicine I had the idea to create a page totally devoted to Elliot Stabler, Loose Cannon™ but realized this guy beat me to it. My very favorite is this one:

tumblr_lxebgeOZxF1qbia1oo5_1280This is shaping up to be one of my most terrible posts yet, so I’ll wrap it up by letting you know that  this shirt exists:

Cat Hair is Lonely People GlitterYou’re welcome.

I’m on Facebook! Tell Your Grandparents!

Thank you so much to everyone who posted encouraging things over on my Instagram yesterday … I’ve avoided posting about weight loss issues in the past, mostly because it’s hard not to post about that stuff without it sounding like a ploy for attention from Internet strangers. Because blogs offer such a tiny glimpse into the big picture of somebody’s life, it’s easy to read them and think, “that person’s got their shit together, why don’t I?” I guess this was just a PSA to let everyone know that sometimes, my shit is all over the place. Also, I know that my posts about fitness/health stuff have been sparse lately, but it’s something I aim to write more about this year since it’s obviously something I think about a lot.

Speaking of fitness, my mom texted me this morning to see if I wanted to run a half marathon with her and my dad in Maui later this year. At first I was like, “hmm, maybe we could swing that” but then I remembered the exposed drywall backsplash our kitchen is currently sporting, as well as the fact that the house needs new paint, a new lawn, and we’re currently in the middle of a plumbing job that is making me seriously consider bathing out back with the garden hose for the rest of my life. I told her maybe. Anybody in the market for a fully functioning* kidney?


Also, I wanted to let you guys know that there’s an official HeatherHomefaker Facebook page now. Which is probably pointless since the other day I was talking to a teenager who told me nobody uses Facebook anymore except for parents and grandparents. Apparently all her friends just use Snapchat, and as she was telling me this I nodded along like I totally agreed that Facebook was so over and prayed she wouldn’t ask me for my Snapchat user name since I have no idea what the hell a Snapchat even is, or if it requires user names. I mean, I kind of know what it is, but I don’t really get how it’s different than the group message function I currently use when I feel like all my friends need to see a boring picture of my cat for the thousandth time. Basically, I have never felt older than I did at the end of that conversation.


So glad I spent hundreds of dollars on a DSLR “for blog photos” so I can proceed to only post gifs.

ANYWAY, for those of you stuck in 2006 with me, my Facebook link is on the sidebar. Feel free to like my page and spam me with Patrick Dempsey photos and beer recommendations.

*Beer doesn’t damage kidneys, right?

Ramble Ramble

BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo prompt for today involved admitting how many hours a day you spend online (answer: EMBARRASSING) so instead I’m going to ramble a bit and post some cute photos of my nephew from last weekend.


11.19.13 JoshI had the best time with my family, and was really sad when we had to drop them off at the airport yesterday. I’m not a kid person AT ALL, but I could hang out with that little guy forever.

The good news is that rained all day today and is supposed to rain all day tomorrow. Gloomy weather always puts me in the best mood — all I ask is that it not dump snow on me next week when I drive down to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Speaking of which, I can’t believe Thanksgiving is almost here already. I’m in charge of cocktails, because of course I am. So far, I’m considering mulled cider, this apple cider sangria, and a jam and gin cocktail. I plan on testing out a bunch of different options this week (sorry, liver), so if you have any tried-and-true concoctions I need to try, please let me know!

Odds and Ends

Busy workweeks are both a blessing and a curse. I do appreciate that my days fly by when I’m rushing to write copy before deadline and brainstorming new campaign ideas. On the flipside, when I get home at the end of the day I rarely have the energy to exercise AND make dinner AND write for my blog. And since I really love eating and being able to fit into my clothes, blogging is often what gets scratched off my after-work to-do list. Or, it would, if my to-do lists weren’t always lost in the bottom of my purse along with 70 pieces of gum and enough spare change that I could probably just quit my job and retire tomorrow.

Anyway, here are some odds and ends I keep thinking I should write about, but then don’t. Because of the busy.

Gone Girl

1. Gone Girl. I got a kindle for my birthday, and this was the first book I downloaded when I took it out of the box on Sunday. I’m about 78% through the book (thanks for keeping tabs on my progress, kindle!) and it seriously kills me to put it down at night. However. Everybody who has found out I’m reading it has been like, “I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU’RE DONE” and it’s kind of making me nervous that this book is going to go to shit at the end. I’ve been wanting to start writing book reviews on here, so maybe this will be a good one to start with.


2. Peaches! I belong to a local grub club, and this afternoon I’ll be picking up a ton of juicy, organic, locally grown peaches. (Along with a bunch of other goodies from area farms including fresh garlic, summer squash, heirloom tomatoes, kale, and Walla Walla onions!) I’m not sure we’ll be able to go through all the peaches before they go bad, so I plan to use them up in some sort of crisp or crumble. Only I’ve never made peach crisp before, so now I’m on the hunt for the perfect recipe. So far this one from Joy the Baker is the leader, but if you have a favorite recipe please help me out and leave a link in the comments!

3. Striped top. Sometimes I get really excited over mundane articles of clothing. Like this striped top I got at Target over the weekend. It looks simple enough in the photo, but the fit is just right and the material is so flowy that I can barely feel it (a necessity when it’s 100 degrees outside). Basically it’s perfect and I want to wear it with everything. So far I have paired it with the jeans pictured above, white shorts, and tucked into a gray pencil skirt. I might have to go back and buy the yellow version.


4. Exercise. I am in a serious exercise rut. My IT band has been giving me a lot of trouble on my longer runs, so I am under doctor’s orders to reduce my mileage and focus on stretching and strength training for a while. My plan was to run 3-4 miles twice per week as well as lift weights 2-3 times per week, but it’s been really difficult to keep up with the strength training. The heat is part of the problem – the last thing I want to do after work is complete 10,000 mountain climbers in my un-air-conditioned living room while Jillian Michaels screams that she knows 400-lb. people who can do them better than me. The alternative is going to the weight room at my gym, and while it is indeed cooler in there, the guys there grunt REALLY LOUDLY and it’s  hard to focus on proper form when you’re fiddling with the volume on your iPod to drown out the sex noises coming from the sweaty guy in the Jethro Tull shirt on the machine next to you.

In conclusion: I hope “Gone Girl” doesn’t wind up sucking, I may wear only one shirt for the rest of my life, and I need you to give me your favorite peach crisp recipes.

Heat waaaaave

Last night, I was really tempted to write a post complaining about the heat like everybody else. Instead I decided to remind myself that there are things I hate worse than 110-degree forecasts.


Things like digging my car out from under three feet of snow.

Scraping ice from my windshield.

Wearing socks, tights, jeans, two shirts, a sweater, and a coat to work.

Icy highways.

Seeing my breath inside my house when I get up in the morning.


Bring it, summer.

Does this mean I have to stop hating Twitter?

In addition to being sick all of last week, I was also dealing with some super stressful career decisions.

I’ve always struggled with being confident in my work. Which is weird, because I’ve never been fired or anything. Come to think of it, I’ve never even really had a negative performance review, except for the time I worked at a museum cafe and my manager scolded me for not RUNNING to clean up after a toddler who was barfing his lunch all over the floor. Like, I’m sorry that my first instinct when seeing half-masticated chicken-adjacent meat nuggets shoot out of a kid’s mouth isn’t to run into the line of fire. I’LL HAVE TO WORK ON THAT.

My degree is in print journalism and up until the job I’m at now, I have only worked in the news industry – first as a reporter, then as a page designer/copy editor, and finally as a managing editor. Making the switch to marketing eight months ago was somewhat terrifying. While I like a challenge, I’ve been in a constant state of panic about whether I’m as good at it as I was at journalism, or if my limited experience is holding my company back.

So when I received a pretty great offer from my former paper a few weeks ago, I had to decide whether I wanted to go back to what I was comfortable with or continue in my current position, not really knowing if I’m even good at what I’m doing. After making myself sick over the decision for several days, I decided to just go in and talk to my boss about everything.

In retrospect, saying, “Hey, I’m thinking about leaving because I’m not sure if I’m good at my job!” probably isn’t a great thing to say to your boss. I blame it on the fever.

But my boss was understanding. He listened. And instead of firing me, he told me he’d like to tailor my job description to match my strengths and interests.

And then my head exploded, because what kind of boss does that? The universe must finally be thanking me for braking for squirrels and recycling and not hiring a hit man to remove Nancy Grace’s vocal cords.

All that to say: I am now my company’s first-ever Social Media Manager, and I seriously could not be more excited. Or confident. How about that.

On Wednesdays we wear pink

Since I can’t get away from the 24/7 media coverage of David Petraeus’ dirty laundry, I’ve decided to embrace the fact that it’s kind of funny that behind closed doors, the director of the CIA has basically been living the life of a 12-year-old girl. Therefore, I present:

Things we really need to know about PETRAEUSGATE 2012

  • Are Paula Broadwell’s official biography notes stored in a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper?
  • Did Mr. Petraeus send his confidential memos via interoffice cootie catchers?
  • Was “bang the CIA Director” on Paula’s “jobs” list when she and the general played MASH together on the plane to Afghanistan?