Category Archives: Photos

High Five for Friday

1. My nephew Theodore finally decided to make an appearance early Thursday morning, two weeks past his due date. I know I’m biased, but I think he’s pretty damn cute:

Josh has been practicing big brother duties with a Cabbage Patch doll, which melted even my shriveled, blackened ovaries.

Josh meeting his little brother. For the last few weeks he’s been practicing for the arrival of the baby with a Cabbage Patch doll.

This morning I was thinking about how much fun it is to be the cool aunt and have none of the responsibility of being a parent. And then I realized that when Theo is 16, I’ll be 46. FORTY-SIX. Apparently instead of “Cool Aunt Heather” I’ll be “That relative who makes us massage her bunions while she eats Easy Cheese from the can and talks about menopause.”



What my evenings will look like for the next two weeks.

Last night I Instagrammed a photo making fun of Bob Costas’ grievous eye injury, and was shocked when I saw that NBC Olympics liked it. This morning I saw that they unliked it. I like to think it was because Costas found out and pitched a squinty-eyed fit.

3. Cauliflower crust pizza.

Cauliflower Crust Pizza

We hadn’t had this in a while, so whipped some up on Wednesday night. IT IS SO GOOD. I use this recipe. Pro tips: Double the garlic, grease the baking sheet/pizza stone reaaaaally well, and let the crust get nice and brown before adding your toppings. (Our toppings included a little cheese, Newman’s Own Sockarooni sauce, veggies, and ground beef leftover from when we made sliders a few days ago.)

4. After seven months(!), I finally got my hair cut yesterday.


I’m trying to grow it out long again, so it wasn’t anything drastic – I just got my layers freshened up, bangs trimmed, and the dead ends chopped off. Even though I absolutely love getting my hair done, I always put it off for ages until it looks like this and I can’t stand it anymore. Don’t be like me.

5. For the first time in a while, we have nothing scheduled for this weekend. The possibilities are endless — I can’t decide if I want to get started on refinishing the dresser sitting in the garage, start the alcove bar project with Dave, or just sit around in my pajamas waiting for our local Olympics coverage to start. SO MANY CHOICES.

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Weekend in Photos

Photo BoothCake and ChampagneOn Saturday night my friends Joanna and Nick got married, and their wedding was amazing. Mostly because they’re both pretty much the best people ever, but also because it was 50’s themed and was complete with candy cigarettes, a photo booth, and casino games. Also, that cake up there was the tastiest wedding cake I’ve ever had. I spent about 10 minutes scheming a way to sneak some out with me in my purse, but then I saw an unattended piece on a table near me, so I snagged it and then pretended to be all appalled with its rightful owner when he returned from the dance floor to find his delicious cake missing. SORRY, NOT SORRY.

RunIn other news, I’ve decided to try and get back into half marathon shape. Partly to offset that CAKE ALL THE TIME diet you just read about, and partly because I miss actually training instead of just running a few miles randomly when I feel like it.  I have my eye on a few races in April (a 10-miler and half marathon), so that gives me plenty of time to prepare while also being close enough that I can’t keep skipping workouts to watch Netflix in my pajamas.

StewFinally, Dave made Guinness lamb stew last night, and it was SO GOOD. It’s the perfect winter evening meal, if you happen to be in one of the regions of the U.S. actually getting a winter this year. Anyway, he promised he’d guest blog with the recipe, so look for that later this week. In the meantime, I’ll be at work, dreaming about cake.

High Five for Friday

1. After months of whining, SOMEBODY finally got his damn hot dog cooker. So now this wtfery is happening on our kitchen counter:

Hot Dog Cooker

Direct quote from Dave: “I like how the rotisserie creates a layer of sweat on the outside.”

I hate to admit it, but we cooked angus dogs on this thing last night and they were kind of excellent.

2. I’ve re-discovered my love of Cream of Wheat.

Cream of Wheat

Dave’s mom brought by a bunch of grocery coupons last weekend, and when I saw one for Cream of Wheat I remembered how much I loved that stuff as a kid, and added it to our  shopping list. Turns out it’s as delicious as I remembered, even without the six tablespoons of butter and softball-sized ball of brown sugar I’d top it with when I was younger. (I carefully cut out the coupon and then forgot it on the kitchen table, standard.)


Sure, there’s a big hole in our front yard and our entire driveway/sidewalk is caked in mud, but I can fall asleep without wondering if the crawl space under our house is slowly filling up with water.

4. One of my oldest friends, Joanna, is getting married tomorrow, and I’m so excited to celebrate with her. Fun fact: We met as kids at church, where we sat in the back row together and bonded over our mutual hatred of songs with dumb hand motions. Here we are with some friends on my 16th birthday:

Birthday Trip

She is the cute one on the bottom right. I am the one who looks like she cut her bangs with a Flowbee.

5. My sister is due to deliver her second son any day now! She has cute kids (evidence below), so we’re pretty excited.

Heather and Josh
Although I would like to note that I’m kind of pissed that they didn’t consider my name suggestion of “National,” since their last name is Parks. There’s still time to change your mind, guys.

Have a good weekend!

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Twenty Thirteen

I’ll be honest: 2013 ended way better than it started for me.

I began the year living alone in a little apartment, having just gone through a sort-of breakup with Dave. I spent most evenings in January drinking red wine and channeling Bridget Jones.

(Long story short: We got back together in February).

Since I had some free time and an abundance of nervous energy on my hands early in the year, I started running for the first time in my life. I realized that I kind of liked it, so I slowly built up my mileage and started training for a half marathon.

Post-10 miles

Icing my knees after my first 10-mile run.

In February, I took a little mini-vacation and flew out to Colorado for some quality time with my nephew (and my sister and brother-in-law).

zooA couple months later in May, I took an awesome trip to Chicago. It was technically a work trip, but I had a few days free to hang out and explore the city. I love Chicago so much, and can’t wait to go back.

ChicagoShortly after I returned from Chicago, Dave and I said goodbye to our discretionary income and started house hunting.

Despite the slow torture that is house hunting, the month of June was awesome – I ran my first half marathon, and Dave and I took a trip to the San Diego Zoo, where I became obsessed with red pandas.

red-pandaRight before we left on our trip we made an offer on a house, and right when we got back the bank discovered that some dude stole my social security number in 2007 and used it to lease an apartment in Minnesota. Because of course he did.

We finally worked everything out with the bank, and got the keys to our first home at the end of July.

08-01-13-keyAt first we were all, “woo we’re homeowners” and then we found mold under the kitchen floor and the toilet overflowed every time it flushed and the wiring was all messed up in the kitchen and we were like, “OH MY GOD WE ARE IDIOTS.”

08-05-13-outside-2The house needed a lot of cosmetic work, and we’ve spent the last four months turning it into a place that we love.

In October I traveled to Phoenix (again, for work), where I spent almost as much time lounging poolside as I did working. In my defense, would you be able to work with this right outside your room?

20131021-143439November and December were kind of a blur, and I can’t believe that a new year begins tomorrow. I’m looking forward to completing a lot of house projects in 2014 (installing a kitchen backsplash, building a bar into our dining room alcove, landscaping the front and back yards, hopefully painting the exterior, I am getting hives as I type this list) as well as some possible international travel for work. Oh, and I’ll also continue to blog here. WordPress just informed me that in 2013 I wrote 220 posts, uploaded 848 photos, and that my visitors for the year would fill 7 sold-out performances at the Sydney Opera House. Which is weird, because I totally woke up this morning wondering how many performances it would take to host all my readers at the Sydney Opera House. (No I didn’t.)

ANYWAY, thanks for enduring all my posts about cheese and beer and shirtless Chris Hemsworth this year, and I hope you have a fabulous 2014.

Christmas 2013

I totally meant to post something earlier this week, but it turns out if I have to choose between blogging and eating peanut butter balls until I feel sick, I will choose the peanut butter balls. Anyway, we had a pretty fantastic Christmas. I mean, as fantastic as it can be when you’re crammed into a room with 20 other people opening a mountain of gifts one at a time and you’re not even drinking.
TreeThe five-hour present extravaganza was totally worth it though, because I came away from it with this amazing gift from my parents:

MixerAs well as this handmade picture from my sister:

Cross StitchI also received this beautiful coat from my grandma, an Orla Kiely makeup bag set, pretty stacking rings from Etsy, and a bunch of other great stuff. Including a hot pink gym bag, which I desperately need to put to good use on account of I looked a lot like this when I got dressed this morning:

Seriously. It’s bad.

December Photo Challenge Day 17: Lock Screen

If you haven’t noticed, I’m basically just doing this December photo challenge when it’s convenient for me and I can’t think of anything else to write about. Today’s photo is of my lock screen (note to my grandma: It’s a thing on smartphones):

Lock Screen

Dave kind of lucked out here – a few days ago, this screen was a picture of him drinking a Miller High Life while wearing a blonde 80s butt rock wig.

I was kind of afraid to put up the tree this year – due to major space constraints, we’ve only had a little 2-foot tree in the past and Dave assured me that Whiskers would make it his mission to destroy a big tree. Turns out, he really enjoys hanging out under there. He did get pretty pissed when I started putting out gifts, but I cleared him a spot in the front and he got over it. Occasionally we’ll catch him trying to eat a sequin off the tree skirt, but after the gray paint incident we kind of stopped giving a shit about any antics that won’t result in major property damage. Pick your battles with cats, is what I’m saying.

December Photo Challenge Day 11: Book I’m Reading (With Bonus Josh Hutcherson Pics!)

Hunger Games

The odds of me reading in bed without falling asleep are never in my favor.

As you can see, I’m currently finishing up The Hunger Games trilogy. I’m about three quarters of the way through the final book, and while I’ve been enjoying the story I’m kind of ready for it to be over so I can stop being annoyed by Peeta. Like, sorry you were tortured and your “fighting skills” are more suitable for Cupcake Wars than the Hunger Games, but quit being so needy. Also, your name is dumb.

Josh Hutcherson, on the other hand, can follow me around like a helpless goon anytime he wants.


Really hoping he’s over 18.

Want to play along? Click here to see the December Photo Challenge.