Category Archives: Uncategorized

I Swear I Didn’t Intend for This Post to be About Homicide

Yesterday was a rest day for me, so instead of doing my usual run around the local reservoir, I decided to walk the loop instead.

I should probably apologize to all my Instagram followers for getting all Ranger Rick up in your feeds last night, but I’m usually too busy focusing on not passing out and dying to notice all the cool stuff there is on this trail. It took me 45 minutes to walk two miles because I stopped every 10 seconds to take a picture.

Like, look at this bee eating his dinner!

And a duck!

And this deer, who scared the shit out of me by jumping out of the trees right as I walked by!

And this is where I tell you to stop reading if you were expecting this to be a sweet little blog post about a nature walk, because shit’s about to get weird.

Right after I took that deer picture, I walked by a man sitting on a rock a ways off the trail. He looked nice enough, but when I walked by he stared right in my eyes for a good five seconds, wiped his lips, and then said, “Hi-i” in this super creepy singsongy voice. And then he giggled.

There are two things in life I’m really afraid of: Getting stuck listening to Nickelback while riding in somebody’s car, and grown men giggling. Just thinking about it now gives me goosebumps, and not the kind I get when I see a Chris Hemsworth movie.

Speaking of movies, if my years of watching Lifetime have taught me ANYTHING it is that all creepy men want to take you to a cabin in the woods and kill you, so I picked it up to a run at that point and got the hell out of there.

About a quarter mile down the trail I passed a couple who told me I should be careful because they saw a man hiding in the bushes.

AWESOME.

I was sitting on the couch later that night telling Dave about my brush with abduction (there was lots of eye rolling on his part), when I read on Facebook that a third body was found behind Walmart.

Oh, did I not mention that the police are investigating two homicides right now? And that they believe they are related? And that the bodies were found in wooded areas? And that they do not have any suspects in custody?

Looks like I’ll be sticking to the treadmill for a while.

Happy Fourth

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Happy July 4 (if you’re in America … if not, happy Thursday!)

I have today off of work, and yesterday my boss told me to go ahead and take Friday off as well, as it’s my birthday.

(True story: When I was little, I thought the city set off fireworks to celebrate my birthday coming the next day.)

I’ll be enjoying my unexpected four-day weekend with a lot of shopping, eating, a few birthday celebrations, and serious amounts of iced coffee to keep cool. And, of course, fireworks. We usually watch the show from the front porch, which is close enough to hear the sonic booms, and far enough away that we don’t have to hear “God Bless the USA” at 5,000 decibels.

I hope you have a great holiday, however you choose to celebrate!

High Five for Friday

Nails and Ice Cream

Ice cream and bright nails (polish is Reign in Spain by Color Club).

Golden Girls shirt

Dave discovered iron-on transfers, and made me a sweet ass Golden Girls t-shirt.

Paleo Pad Thai

Last night we tried this recipe for Paleo Pad Thai, and it was SO GOOD. (No, I’m not Paleo – I like cheese too much.) We don’t have all those trendy, Paleo-friendly ingredients like coconut aminos and sunbutter, so we used soy sauce for the aminos and peanut butter for the sunbutter (I know, the cavemen would totally be judging us). We also added yellow bell peppers and mushrooms. I cannot recommend this recipe enough.

Koala

Animals at the zoo!

Sometimes sprinkles are the only way to turn around a crappy day.

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From where do you draw your energy?

Blogher’s January NaBloPoMo theme is “Energy,” which is kind of a bummer because even THINKING about energy makes me want to turn on the TV and start dipping things in melted cheese.

I don’t know how I’m going to write about energy for a whole month because honestly, I’m kind of lazy by nature. And it’s not something I’m ashamed of, either — it bugs me that most people act like you can’t be lazy AND responsible. I feel like if you work hard, pay your bills on time, and your house doesn’t too closely resemble an episode of hoarders, you should totally be able to spend entire weekends in your pajamas judgement-free. Speaking of pajamas, how hot are these?

That's a cat, not a mountain lion.

That’s a cat, not a mountain lion.

Blogher’s prompt for today is, “From where do you draw your energy?” And I think my answer is that I draw my energy from my love of laziness. I’m motivated to stay energized and get shit done during the week so that the most work I do on a weekend is walk to the kitchen to refill my Cheez-It bowl.

I’m alive!

I was totally on a blogging roll, and then things kind of unexpectedly fell apart around Thanksgiving. I won’t go into it here, except to say it kind of feels like the universe slam-nommed 10 Nacho Cheese Chalupas and then took a greasy Taco Bell dump on my life.

I keep starting posts and then abandoning them, because I honestly haven’t had much to write about. Normally when this happens I write about food, on account of I love it, but my appetite tends to dwindle when I’m stressed … so I haven’t cooked in a while. Last week, it took me like three days to finish a can of black beans. This resulted in some truly exquisite meals, including “Black Beans in a Bowl With a Side of Pretzels” and “Two-Day-Old -Thai Leftovers (Oh, and Black Beans).” I did manage to eat quite a bit of fudge, peanut butter balls, and various creamy cheese products while home for Christmas, and I think that finally brought my hunger back around because I woke up starving today. In honor of my returning appetite, here are some things I’m looking forward to making in the near future:

Baked avocados

Source: fabulousfoodblog.com via Heather on Pinterest

Roasted wild mushroom chowder

Source: leafygreensandme.com via Heather on Pinterest

Smoked gouda risotto with spinach and mushrooms

Source: myrecipes.com via Heather on Pinterest

Smoky sweet potato burgers with roasted garlic cream and avocado

NaBloPoMo

Back in college when my friends and I were all blogging maniacs, we used to participate in this thing called NaBloPoMo (short for National Blog Posting Month). Basically, you make a commitment to post on your blog every day for the month of November. I’ll be honest – I became kind of insufferable every time I participated. So much that this thing should really be called, “The reason Heather is a raging douchetroll from Halloween to Thanksgiving,” but I suspect TRHIARDFHTT wouldn’t fit on a button.

OR WOULD IT?

When I was still in school I had all the time in the world to write, and there were often months when I blogged every day. But as soon as NaBloPoMo would roll around, blogging would become a total chore and I’d whine about writer’s block up until 11:59 p.m. each night of the challenge. I think this is just intrinsic to my personality, because I’m still like this. I’ll spend my free time writing my little heart out, but then I’ll be handed an assignment at work. Suddenly everything I write is crap and I should send back my journalism degree and get a job at Taco Bell because I HATE ALL THE WORDS. I still can’t believe I worked at a newspaper for six years — clearly, I was a real treat when I was on deadline.

Boring story short, that’s why that little NaBloPoMo button recently appeared on my sidebar – I’m proving to myself that I can write on command without losing my shit. It’s also why my friends and family will be pretending to have plans every time I want to hang out from now until Dec. 1.

Up tomorrow: They’re here! See which boots I finally ended up ordering.

Polka

Kind of regretting packing this skirt…everyone else is in black or gray.

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I did see one other girl wearing a leopard print sweater, and she definitely gave me a look of solidarity when she walked by. Do you wear bright colors or patterns to work events?